Start Clapping!

The other night I was teaching our 3 year old little girl how to shoot hoops on our Fisher Price basketball hoop. I grew up playing a lot of basketball and must admit that I am a huge fan of the sport. I'm really hoping our kids will take an interest in playing basketball as well.

In an effort to cultivate this interest, I was showing her how to shoot the ball. I also, strategically, made all kinds of noise and applause every time she made a basket--hoping she'd find this encouraging. This went on for probably about 30 minutes until I got distracted with one of the other kids and didn't see her make a basket.

She walked up to me grabbed my face and turned it towards her. Then she put both hands on her hips, scrunched up her face, and said in a disgruntled voice, "START CLAPPING!" It was one of those moments you had to be there to really appreciate. Somehow I think whatever activities or hobbies she chooses to do, she won't have a problem demanding the attention she deserves.

My 2008 Ballot Proposal

Budget Cuts

Our country is in a terrible mess, which has led a larger than average percentage of the nation to be glued to the 2008 presidential election. I think it is great that so many people are watching the election and looking to make change, but we have another problem on the horizon--the problem of uninformed or, for the lack of a politically correct term, dumb voters.

I am extremely grateful to live in a free country, even if it has become less such over the past decade. I also cherish the fact that we live in a democracy, because history and common sense informs us that the voice of the people will usually pick the best candidate. I also think it was essential that the right to vote was afforded to all people regardless of race, gender, or economic status. In the early days of the country that right was only afforded to the land owners and wealthy elite, because it was viewed that they were in the best position to make such decisions for the common good. Yeah right!

So where am I going with this? We have the responsibility as citizens to make informed decisions. Not to vote for a candidate just because they tell us what we want to hear or make us feel warm and fuzzy inside. We shouldn't vote or not vote for a candidate because they are a certain color, religion, or gender. We should judge each candidate by not only their words but more importantly their track record, their character, and the merits of their campaign. While I think affording all citizens the right to vote is critical, I wish there were some way to weed out the bad apples.

So here is my simple proposal for the 2008 ballot. The first part of the ballot is a 10 question quiz asking basic economic, civic, and political questions that any voter should know. Once the ballot is completed and turned in, the electronic counter first grades the 10 question quiz. If the voter passes (say a score of 50% or more), their vote is added to the totals, but if they fail the ballet is sent to a shredder where it belongs. I know it sounds a little harsh, but would it be such a bad thing to force voters to study a little before they cast their ballot?

The voter doesn't even need to know if they passed or not. Although, it would be funny to print off a little score sheet with a little Uncle Sam giving them the thumbs up or down. So in submitting my proposal, I thought I'd write a sample quiz for the 2008 ballot. Please let me know if you have any good questions to add.

Sample Ballot Quiz (true or false):

1. Social Security is a great program and the government should be able to force how I invest my money for retirement because I'm not responsible enough.
   
2. Socialized Health Care is good because it is fun to wait 6 months to see a doctor or to have everyone with a sneeze or sniffle in the emergency room ahead of me.
3. I can't wait for our currency to change to the Amero!
4. I'd like my government to tag me with a RFID chip like a typical family pet because that would solve the immigration problem the government doesn't want to fix.
   
5. The Federal Reserve, which controls the nation's money supply, is under the umbrella of the government and is not a privately owned corporation.
6. The war in Iraq is about freeing an oppressed people and defending our country against the very people that caused the attack on September 11, 2001.
7. The National Debt is good because it means I get lots of stuff without paying for it.
8. I would use the word "FAIR" to describe our trade with China.
9. I'd gladly give up my freedom and liberties as a citizen to have the government tell me I'm a little bit safer.
10. The best way to fix a problem is through government regulation.
    

I'm A Keeper

Teething is not fun! I'm not speaking from some deep repressed memory I have of my own experience cutting teeth, but from my experience as a father. Recently our little baby girl has been working on a few new top teeth, and it has been a painful experience for everyone involved. We have a shirt that seems to lighten the mood a bit. It seems to fit the kids right when they are at this teething stage. The shirt simply says, "I'M A KEEPER". I appreciate my wife using the shirt, because when I see it, I know to tread lightly. I also appreciate the fact that you can't help but smile when you see a little kid in this shirt. The last picture shows two brand new pearly whites! Whew!

I'm Hungry!

Yesterday I decided to pick up some lunch for the whole family. My oldest daughter, who is 5, insisted on accompanying me. I let her come along, knowing full well what would happen. As soon as the food was in the car, the whining began.

"Daddy, Daddy! I'm soooooo hungry! Can I have a french fry? Please, oh please!"

"No sweet heart, you have to wait till we get home."

"But I'm so hungry; can't I just have one fry?"

This conversation continued for several minutes back and forth, until I pulled out one of the oldest parent lines related to this topic. It is one of those lines you inherit from your parents, but swear you will never use.

"You don't even know what it is to be hungry! There are people, poor people, who are dying and don't have enough food! So don't cry and tell me you're hungry, because you don't know what that even means!"

There was a pause for a couple seconds. "Finally," I thought to myself. Then my daughter spoke up.

"Dad, those people are starving! I'm just very hungry, and I do know what that means!"

I can see my argument winning days are quickly coming to an end.

The Kid Eliminator

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years!

This year I tried to put a lot of thought into the presents I purchased for my wife. I really appreciate her and all she does for our family. As one of her stocking stuffers I purchased a pair of commercial-grade ear muffs (ear protection) that will block noise up to 21 dB. On the package I wrote "The Kid Eliminator".

I thought with the ear protection, when I watch the kids, my wife could take a nap, bath, or read a book and it would be like having no kids. Don't get me wrong we both love our kids very much, but sometimes moms and dads need a break from the screaming, crying, nagging, whining, and general horseplay. At this point, some of you are probably thinking, "What a great idea! I need to get a pair of those!" It is funny how kids can take a good idea and turn it upside down on you.

So what has happened? The kids have found the ear muffs and they are a favorite toy now. One of our kids will put the ear muffs on and they will all start jumping on the bed and scream at the top of the lungs. This is, of course, hilarious to them as the one wearing the protection can barely hear the screaming. Then they will switch and repeat the whole exercise. This has increased their noise levels dramatically and turned "The Kid Eliminator" into "The Kid Amplifier". Oh well, if you can't beat them, join them!

Christmas Poll Results

This was a pretty lame survey. I promise I'll try and do better in the future. Based on the results, you may want to check the expiry dates on some of your perishable gifts this year, before digging in!