Top Ten Signs It's Time Lose Weight

I'm coming to the realization that I need to lose some extra baggage. Today I bought my son a whoopie cushion, he is only 4 so that kind of thing is hilarious to him. Well, I sat on it and instead of the embarrassing noise it made a loud pop. I guess the force of me sitting on it was too much and it exploded. In any event, that is what inspired this list.

1. It's been over a year without dusting off "Sweatin to the Oldies" and slapping it in the VCR.
2. You've actually used the phrase, "So that's where I put that" in relation to a lost item and your belly button.
3. Your signature Halloween costume is Jabba the Hutt but you can no longer find a willing Princess Leia.
   
4. You've eaten or seriously contemplated eating food from the garbage, "What a waste!"
   
5. The remote control batteries died and you were forced to watch the same channel for two weeks, "I could get up if I wanted to, but I like The Weather Channel!"
   
6. You get misty eyed during Fat Albert reruns.
7. You've bitten the finger of a friend or family member who has tried to eat food off your plate.
8. You own the Platinum Member Country Buffet credit card.
9. Someone gave you a fruit cake for Christmas and you ate it.
10. When asked the question, "Which came first the chicken or the egg?" all you can think of is which you'd eat first.