Top 10 Signs Your TV Remote is Too Big

Yesterday I was at the store looking for some Christmas gifts for my family. The women reading this post are thinking, "How could you be doing your Christmas shopping so late?" and the men are thinking, "Are you missing a Y chromosome? That is like 10 days before Christmas!"

Anyway, I found the best gift ever. So good in fact, I had to buy one for myself--I've been reasonably good this year. It is a ginormous (love that word) TV remote. In an age when everything is getting so small (i.e. cell phones, ipods, etc.), it is nice to hold something with some girth to it.

I miss the cell phones that were the length of your head and had an antenna about the same size as the one on your car. Now you see 6 foot 200 pound men carrying around cell phones that they must have stolen from their daughter's Barbie. Anyway, I love the new TV remote, but it led me to wonder how much remote is too much? Hence, the top signs your TV remote is too big:

1. Your remote takes two hands to operate.
2. It doubles as a TV dinner tray.
3. Everyone in your neighborhood has to watch what you watch.
4. One or more airplanes have crashed into your home.
   
5. If you dropped the remote, there is a greater than 50% chance you'd break your foot, someone else's foot, or your foot and someone else's foot.
   
6. You have a special insurance policy for just the remote.
   
7. The remote requires four D batteries.
8. It is larger than your new 42" Plasma Flat Panel TV.
9. In the middle of the night you hear what may be an intruder break into your home and you reach for the remote rather than the baseball bat.
10. The remote comes with a free pair of lead underwear and a sticker that warns, "Prolonged use of this remote control may cause cancer!"

Anyway, if you are looking for a Christmas gift that screams "I AM A MAN!", pick up the Colossal Remote from Living Solutions.