Top Ten Reasons Wives Love to Scrapbook

My wife is heading to a scrapbooking retreat in a week and leaving me alone with the kids for 4 days. In honor of all the wives out there who love to scrapbook, I've compiled this top ten list from a male's perspective.

1. How can a husband argue about $200 dollars being spent to forever capture Timmy's first time going potty?
2. Four words: interchangeable die cutting machine. Arrh! Arrh!
3. A scrapbook can become a valuable historical document: "And here is our trip to the zoo, when your Dad had to work! And here is our trip to the fun park, when your Dad had to work!"
4. Pictures don't talk back, complain, or wet their pants.
5. An opportunity to "stamp" on your husband's face!
6. Without scrapbooking such valuable inventions as the glue stick holster may have never been invented, then where would we be?
7. A great way to overcome an addiction is to develop a new one.
8. Finally there is a creative use for all that pesky pet hair that collects around the house. "Look at the cute little Eskimo jacket I made you!"
9. With a bucket of 50 decorative scissors the kids’ sandwiches have taken on a whole new life. "Should I eat it or frame it?"
10. If you get a paper cut it is acid free!
    

The Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear or See on Your Honeymoon

I stumbled onto this list from when I MCed my sister's wedding. I enjoyed writing it and thought I'd add it to my musings.

1. A few days after the wedding night your wife says, "Congratulations, do you think we will have a baby girl or boy?"
2. Your wife returns from shopping and asks, "Do you have any more credit cards? The ones you gave me don't seem to work anymore."
3. While getting ready to take a leisurely dip in the pool your husband comes out of the bathroom with a razor in hand and asks, "Can you shave my back? There are a few spots I couldn't reach."
4. While taking a romantic walk together a total stranger comes up to your spouse and says, "Didn't I see you on Jerry Springer, Elimidate, and Temptation Island?"
5. On your wedding night your wife asks you if you know what a hermaphrodite is?
6. While looking around the honeymoon suite you notice a sign that says, "Please don't feed the roaches!"
7. In the middle of the night your husband wakes you up and informs you, "He sees dead people!"
8. You carry your new bride across the threshold only to have a bunch of strangers yell, "Surprise, you're on Candid Camera!"
9. You arrive at the hotel to check in and the manager gives you an hourly rate.
10. While packing the car to leave for the honeymoon you hear your wife say, "Honey, did you load my mother's bags yet?"
    

Quote of the Month Archive

2007 Quotes

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
-- Amy Sedaris

I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
-- Author Unknown

I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
-- Jay Leno

2008 Quotes

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
-- Author Unknown

I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
-- Anonymous (I wonder why?)

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey

If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings.
--Welsh Proverb

"Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young."
--Author Unknown

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
--Phyllis Diller

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
--Author Unknown

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
--Doug Larson

2009 Quotes

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
--Jay Leno

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck.
--Daryl Stout

Niagara Falls of Musing

Many people have asked me what it means to muse. A formal definition could be:

muse - to think or meditate in silence, as on some subject.

However, I do not believe that musing must take place in silence. My musings rush forth like the waters of the mighty Niagara Falls. Those who have been to Niagara Falls know that when you stand next to the falls all you hear is a loud thunderous cascade of water. My musings are similar--loud, thunderous, deafening, and powerful.

In any event, grab a good sturdy barrel and enjoy the ride.

More Musings Than Most!

There are some people out there with some miscellaneous musings, but I have many more. Visit my blog because it has many! Well stay tuned, it will have many.

See this girl? Doesn't she look sad?












The reason she looks so sad is she only has some miscellaneous musings! Cheer up, you can always visit my Blog!