Zion National Park

A picture says a thousand words. We went to Zion National Park in southern Utah this weekend. Amazing!



I used some freeware to stitch four pictures together. Then we had some fun with the kids pictures.



The views in the park were spectacular. I'd highly recommend going if you haven't been.

Fish in a Barrel

It is 5:00AM, too early to wake up, but my bladder can no longer wait. I stumble into the bathroom, and realize I can’t find my glasses. At 6’4” and near sighted, I make the decision to sit down to avoid any potential misfires. Being married for 9 years has taught me two things (1) always put the seat down and (2) if you sprinkle when you tinkle be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

As I sit down I think to myself, does the seat usually feel this warm at 5:00AM? Follow-up question--does the seat usually feel warm and wet? How did this happen?!

It turns out I have a five year-old son who, for some reason, likes to use my bathroom in the morning. I also now understand why sisters, mothers, and wives all over the world get so upset over a urine soaked toilet. I’ve honestly never experienced that particular horror in my life before, and I’m not looking forward to experiencing it ever again.

So here is the point of this blog. When you are 6’4” I think the occasional misfire is excusable even understandable, but how does a kid who doesn’t even stand 4 feet miss the toilet consistently?! I mean shouldn’t it be like shooting fish in a barrel?

Well, the other night I found out what is going on. A phenomenon I now refer to as sleep peeing. I heard some noise in the bathroom and went to investigate. To my horror, I found Reid standing there with his pants down, his eyes closed, his hands at his side, and his fire hose (best way I can describe it) flapping around hitting everything. I ran into the line of fire, in hind sight a stupid thing to do, and tried to get "a hold" on the situation, but the damage was done. Ah, the joys of parenthood!

Is it wrong for me to wish my son would just wet the bed?! One day we’ll look back on this and laugh, but if nothing else I have greater empathy for all the women of the world. I also now look twice and sit once.

Daddy Daughter Dance

This past Friday our church held a very cool event for the girls four to twelve years old and their fathers. They put on a Daddy Daughter Dance with a dinner, corsages, music, and of course a glass disco ball. It was a lot of fun, despite trying to keep both my dates, Sadie (4) and Lynlee (6), happy.

For the first dance of the night they played "Butterfly Kisses"--that one always gets me. I was feeling pretty good about myself, because for the first time in my life, I had two girls cutting in and fighting over me on the dance floor. For the next song, I think they played something by Milley Cyrus. As soon as the song changed all the girls turned, left their fathers, ran into the middle of the floor, and started dancing and singing with each other.

This coordinated act by these small females gave me flashbacks to my youth. I remember going to the church sponsored youth dances and watching packs of girls dancing with each other. This, of course, left me and a host of other awkward young men on the outskirts of the dance floor doing our best to act cool.

As I looked around at the other fathers, it was like being transported back in time. Why is it that girls will instinctively dance with each other? I had always thought this was learned behavior, but for most of these girls this was their first formal dance. Could you imagine a group of boys dancing together in a similar situation? I'd imagine everyone would stop in their tracks if such an event took place--I think these boys would have some serious explaining to do at school the next day.

*****

“Hey Leroy!”

“What up?”

“You were sure light on your feet last night! I had no idea you were such a graceful dancer! Do you think you could teach me some of those moves?”

“Sure, boyfriend! By the way, do these dancing tights make my butt look fat? …”

*****

Doesn’t really flow does it?

Anyway, my dates did circle back eventually. OK, I offered to throw in some tosses and spins if they'd come back and dance with me. I'm not proud of the bribery, but it was a step in the right direction from my days as an awkward youth.

At the end of the night I tried to lock up some commitments for high school prom. Lynlee wasn't sold on the idea but Sadie gave me the knod. They grow up so fast, and it was awesome to see so many happy girls to be on a date with their dad, I'm going to miss these days!